This weekend I watched a number of games during the KS Annual Valentine's Tournament. There were over 85 games played in the course of 2 days, and I must say, I was very impressed with the intensity, concentration, and particularly the effort by our youth participants.

From the 5th grade girls to the 8th grade boys, the games were played with the highest regard and respect to and of KS's philosophy, the spirit of play, and tournament rules. Our KIDS played hard, they played smart, and they played together, but most of all, they played with pure joy for and of the game.

Our KS coaches should be acknowledged for their tremendous influence on our children in this regard. Through the ups and downs of competition; baskets made, assists given, defensive steals, bumps and bruises, missed shots, errant passes, wonderfully executed plays, and just creative individual and team play, our coaches enthusiastically urged our kids to stay the course, to keep on going, to never quit, and to balance the good with the bad and the wins with the losses.

In each division of our tournament, there are only so many trophies to be won and medals to be awarded, however, as is KIDSPORTS philosophy that "all kids play," it was definitely my impression, that in this tournament "all kids won!"

And I do not say this to sugar coat losing or to defend what child psychologists of the 20th century sought to do in protecting our children’s self esteem by declaring everyone a winner.

There were plenty of disappointed children who played their hearts out and came up short this weekend, but because of the perspective provided by coaches and parents, the loss became a valuable lesson.

And this lesson will help their self esteem in more ways than just winning ever can. Winning and success are important parts of sport, but so are knowing how to bounce back after defeat and disappointment. And it is often times the latter which develops a stronger sense of self esteem and determination than the former.

All KIDS won this weekend because they played with smiles on their faces, grit in their hearts, and with a great desire to not only be the best in the tournament, but as importantly, to give their best. When KIDS give their best, they never lose; they just run out of time AND we all know, that time is on their side!

And that truly is only what we can ask and expect from our kids. They met and exceeded those expectations and for that I say, thank you kids and coaches for making it a great tournament.

Some observations from both the tournament and in general from the first half of our KS basketball season:


• Our kids played hard and as a result, there were a lot of collisions, bumps and bruises, and in fact, one broken collar bone in the tournament. Our KIDS showed great class and concern by taking a knee upon injury of a fellow athlete, a gesture of respect and compassion that speaks to fundamental and formative values that sport can teach.

• Our officials did a great job keeping the games going, making proper interventions and keeping the spirit of the games positive and in line with KS “sportspersonship” philosophy. There were times when adults/parents in the stands reacted with poor or questionable comments and our officials stopped the game, intervened, and then instructed our kids to play on.

• Remember folks, the game of basketball is a late specialization sport; that means the game requires fine movement and motor skill that is developed throughout both youth and adolescent years. Our children are not “mini adults,” and are doing their best out there!

• For children 5th through 8th grade, the movement, motor, and sport specific skills required for basketball are very challenging for this age group

• Fundamental skills (the what and how to) and technical skills, (the when to do it; decision making) are still in the formative stages of their development at this age.

• Strategical and tactical skills are difficult to execute prior to the refinement of the fundamental and technical skills of both movement, motor AND sport specific development, so a game of basketball requires a lot of concentration and focus by our KIDS.

• And that is not to mention the added pressure of performance when coaches, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and sometimes neighbors, with good intention, voice and at times scream instructions to the children about what they should do, when they should do it, and how!!

• Remember a game of basketball is not unlike a small test in school, and imagine if we were all to crowd in around our child's desk during an arithmetic test, and act the way we act on the sidelines.

• Don’t get me wrong, kids love to hear you cheer and encourage with relative information and intensity, but if it is over the top, kids begin to tune us out, or tune themselves out of sport. (As a child once said, “I want my Mom and Dad to come out and watch me play, as long as they behave.”)

• Know your role. There are 4 roles to be played in our KS spirit of play and competition. You are either a 1)participant, 2)coach, 3)official, or 4) spectator/fan/parent.

• For the most part this weekend, kids played, officials officiated, spectators were spectators and coaches coached. There were, however, a few instances of confused and poor role play: parents officiating, parents coaching, coaches officiating, and parents administrating. Know your role. Accept your role. Play your role. Role play is vital to a successful tournament and youth organization just as it is for a successful team

• If you are not happy in your role, then I encourage you to take on another of the 4 roles. If you don’t want to do that, then there is a process in place to ask questions about your role, or that of another’s. Remember asking questions and questioning are two different aspects of communication. As the old saying goes: “if you don’t like something, work to change it. If you can’t change it, then change your attitude about it.”

• Throughout the year and inherent to the organization of over 16,000 children and over 1,400 volunteer coaches, problems will arise. And when they do, we encourage your feedback in a forum that is sensitive to time and place and civil discourse and process. We will take ownership of those problems and we will seek to find timely solutions with best practices, and with the best interest of all of our kids in mind.

• However, too often I hear many parents, coaches and even officials try to justify their lack of staying within their role or behaving according to the KS code of conduct because well, “the referee was terrible; the play was too rough; the parent was asking for it; I was just protecting my kids, my players, my family.”

• Circumstances should not determine when and how you play your role. Values of conduct determine how you play your role. (See our website for both coaches and parents code of conduct) Our coaches are experienced enough to dialogue with the officials should there be any problems. We take “due process” very seriously here at KS. That is our role.

• So let the officials play their role. Let coaches play their role. As parents, continue to play your role as so many of you already do. And if there is a concern by anyone in their role, voice that concern with us as we have roles to play too! Make your KIDS proud. Promise to play your role as well as the KIDS played theirs this weekend!

And as always, Go KIDSPORTS and Go KIDS!